You know i finally realized why some people wants to make life so difficult for others, this is my theory not sure about you, but they want to make like hard for others simply because they know that the person they're picking on is better than them in so many ways, be it kinder, more beautiful, happier or whatever. They know if they compare with you fair and square they'd lose out, that's why they have to sink into the depths of the ocean to make your life hard, to make it difficult. So listen to me whoever who have been back stabbed or people is trying to make life hard for you take my word for it, the person who's picking on you knows they can't compare to you because you're better than them in so many ways. So whoever you are reading this and have something against me or simply just want to see me miserable just fuck off, you can't compare to me. I'm better looking (I know I am), kinder, happier (than you'll ever be), have a great lover & love life and so much more. So yeah, you know you can't match up, so why should I sink to your level? Why should I? I've already won this battle, I've won it before it has even started and you know it that's why you want to make my life so difficult. (: Don't worry, I like a little challenge in lfe sometimes so give me your best shot, try me, you've lost even before it has started. (: I'm not afraid of you, so give me your best shot because you know why? I know I'll walk out of this unharmed. So tell me who's getting the last laugh now? (: You'd better screw off and mind your own fucking beeswax before you get hurt. Hahahaha! Piece of advice, don't pick up a fight if you know you can't win.

My ego is so huge. So huge! Hahahahaha! Maybe my ego will bring me down one day but for now, hahahaha! It's just making me feel so good about myself. (: Screw off from my blog if you hate me. (: My big huge inflatable ego! :P I love my Hian Lee!!!!!!!! We're stuck together with commercialized glue, inseparable! So if you want to tear us apart, go ahead and try cause you know why, he won't leave me, cause I'm sooooooo irresistible and even if he did there are millions out there to cushion my fall, to lend me a shoulder. So you failed on attempts, if you even attempt. (: Who's the one walking with a big L on the forehead at the end of the day? YOU! (: Failed on all attempts. (:

The Bitch,
Ezann

31. January. 2009 I ask you now, the person who's reading this, do you have a guilt? Will you be able to sleep at night if know you you've done something wrong? Or will your guilt eat you up? I've met many kinds of people but just recently I've met the lowest kind of human, the type which would want you to suffer with them simply because you're happy. The kind which will try anything to take you down and make sure you live in a cold dark world like them. They want you to be like them, to take you down, to make sure your life is miserable... They are just that twisted, and the sad thing is they don't know what they're doing wrong. They think it's okay to stab people in the back, to see people cry, to see them be unhappy, to tear people up bit by bit, to taken other's heart and smash it into 10 million different pieces. They think it's perfectly fine. They hate people who smile, who laugh, who enjoy life, they can't take that simply because they're jealous.

These people are so low, so damn low, how low can they sink before they hit rock bottom? How low can one get? How Low? How Low? I'm right, you have to be numb to survive in today's society, to have to lose all emotions in order to survive, to sell your soul to someone else...

Life's not fair, life's just not fair. Go pick on someone your own size, go emo in your dark little corner, I beg of you to leave me alone. Go give hell to someone else. Fuck Off. I hope guilt eats you up after you read this, I hope something in that empty skull of yours tells you that what you're doing is wrong. I hope you know that I'm not afraid of you nor your best friend, so snap out of it, tell it in my face what you're unhappy about, you have the guts to say it behind me you have the guts to say it in front of me, dimwit. So say it, have the fucking guts to say it in front of me. (: You know I'm not afraid, you know it. And ask your best friend to stay out of this after all she's graduated. (:

And once again,

Pavlove - Fall Out Boy



Oh, oh, oh oh,
Oh, oh, oh oh,
Oh, oh, oh oh.

Something make my chest stir,
Something make my head blur.

(Oh, oh) I'm not ready for a handshake with death, no,
(Oh, oh) I'm just such a happy mess, woah.

The drums are four on the floor
She's back to the bathroom for one more.

I'm the invisible man
Who can't stop staring at the mirror (at the mirror)
I want to make you as lonely as me,
So you can get, get addicted to this
(You can get, get addicted to this now)

Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.

It's three drink too late to talk to anyone but myself,
(Oh, oh) It's a three and two pitch to walk to anywhere,
(Oh, oh) Else, no.

The drums are four on the floor
She's back to the bathroom for one more

I'm the invisible man
Who can't stop staring at the mirror (at the mirror)
I want to make you as lonely as me,
So you can get, get addicted to this
(You can get, get addicted to this now)

Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.

I'm the invisible man
Who can't stop staring at the mirror (at the mirror)
I want to make you as lonely as me,
So you can get, get addicted to this
(You can get, get addicted to this now)

I'm the invisible man (I'm the invisible man)
I'm the invisible man (I'm the invisible man)
I want to make you as lonely as me,
Cause I'm the invisible man.

I'm the invisible man.


No song in this world can describe people like them like this song.

30. January. 2009 Well, I've given careful thoughts about my post last night and I realized that even though my life's a drama it's tiring and tough to be the great actress of my own drama. I've decided to give up acting, it's draining my energy. I just want to run away from reality, where no one can touch me no one can hurt me... Where me & him would be left alone in peace... Acting is just a part of me which makes Ezann, Ezann. Live, laugh & love. The 3 Ls of life. I want to learn how to trust, how to cherish and how to be optimistic. I've failed and failed and failed. I need someone to keep reassuring me that it's going to be okay, that there'll always be ways to slove the problem. I need someone to keep telling me this, maybe this is why I've never really excelled in my maths, because if I can't slove problems once, I'll give up.... And right now, I'm depend on Hian Lee to keep reassuring me that everything's going to be okay... I want to be... Fearless. My life's a drama, I'm the actress but this actress is retiring. (:

My recent addictions.

Thunder - Boys like Girls


Lyrics | Boys Like Girls lyrics - Thunder lyrics

Enjoy. (:

29. January. 2009 I've got nothing to say, loved archery! Should be starting 50M soon, sad. My fingers got blisters because I was pulling too many arrows. ): Now my fingers hurt, now my fingers looks like Hian Lee's. ): Uglyyyyy.... But I love him none the less. :D So lovable. Look at his kawaii face! :D Probably will start teaching him jap soon, cause he's like nagging at me. ): Hehs. I love you lee! :P Stay by my side forever. (:

Looking back from where I have began, I know that I've improved a great deal. From a fireworks of arrows to quite a nice grouping if I put my mind to it. So yup, don't offend me or you'll be courting death! Every arrow is deadly accurate, so be afraid be very afraid. (:

When life throws you lemons you make lemonade, when life throws you shit you make shit cakes and throw them back! :D You know I feel like some people thinks that my life is a one stop drama central or something, you come for the thrills, the omgs, but you'll never know when this great actress will show you the wrong scenes. My acting skills are top grade, you'll never know when I'm telling the truth or when I'm lying, only the people who knows me, E.G. Ash, Hian Lee. Knows, for the great actress always shows her directors the scripts, as for you... (: You can NEVER tell the difference. Though it is true that one of my great directors of my scripts is almost going to leave for some random island soon, but I have my other great director, Hian Lee. (: The love of my life. The people I love, I care about knows when I'm putting up an act and when I'm not, the people whom just came for the show don't. (: So continue watching as you please, entertain yourselves but before you know it, the story might just turn scary. So hold on to your seats, buckle up, stuff yourself up with pop corns and get ready, the story is just beginning. (: I'm no average little girl, I'm not average little Cinderella, I'm Ezann and You know it. My life's a drama, and you chose to watch so don't run away when it turns scary... (: For when it does turn scary, you'll cry and wet your pants. As sadistic as you, the person who's reading this, are I am just as sadistic as you. So don't run away, don't let my synopsis scare you, know what you're watching and know how interesting my life is for once it starts, it doesn't stop. (This applies only to the people whom hates me or my guts, and who keeps coming back for more.) My life is scary, scary to the people who made it that way, it's Karma, what you do comes back to you. (: So let's play a game of chess, and we'll see who's the last man standing. (:

"Love your neighbor as you love yourself." - Matthew 22:37 verse 40.

Any wise man would know the meaning of that. (: Even a 15 year old can figure this out so why can't you? (:

Remember, I choose what to show and what to act out, I choose what you watch, so... remember, I'm no fool... No fool. (:

I LOVE YOU HIAN LEE! :D

28. January. 2009 I have nothing to say...

Welcome to my life - Simple Plan



Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life



27. January, 2009 Hello you!

(: I miss Him!!!! :DDDDDD

I'm in an incredible good mood today! (:

Well whoever you are reading this, HELLO! :D

If you came here by pure accident and don't seem to like me very much because of whatever reason please kindly click that little red button on top of your screen, because chances are I might not like you very much as well. :D

Well now that's done. I just found out how low people can get when it comes to something they want. Some would sink LOW into the depths of the ocean or whatever just to get that thing or person they want. Sadly, I've met a few people like that in my school and comparing the people I've dealt with two years ago to the people I now see today, I must say... Those people then are so No Kick. I finally realized how to survive in society, that is to numb yourself. Have no feelings whatsoever for the people around you. Have no feelings for little children you know, no feelings for the friends you call friends THAT'S how you survive, because once you're numb you're unstoppable. No guilt for what you've done, no sense of conciseness, nothing. Zero. Only by doing that will you survive in what we call society today. But well I guess I'll the minority who wouldn't survive then. Because I can't numb myself, I have guilt and I have a concision. I know who are the people who would stay by me and who are the people who wouldn't hesitate to stab me in the back when they have to. Sad to say who ever you are reading this who hasn't close this window yet simply because you're disobedient or doesn't understand ENGLISH, might just be the ones who have already stabbed me in the back or are the ones who wouldn't hesitate. Some people are just so sad. SO SAD. And sad to say some of them are the people I know not really as friends but just know. And as I've said before if you get angry just by reading this or hates my guts just by reading this, YOU KNOW THAT I AM SPEAKING NOTHING BUT FACTS. (: So shame on you. (: Why do such people exist I don't know, but I know they'll probably never have a good ending to their lives. Oh well, God knows the righteous and the righteous shall always stay righteous. God knows, God knows. Just been wondering the people who've done wrong, who are so sick and wrong in on so many levels do their guilt eat them up before they sleep at night? Would they feel bad about what they've been doing? Or are they so numb that the word guilt no longer has a definition? I really DO wonder. (: I shall stop thinking too much into things. I will finish up my math homework tomorrow, and this is NOT me procrastinating! :P

This is what I think those people are, I'm talking about the sad people who just like to make like hard for others, this song really describe them:

Pavlove - Fall Out Boy



Oh, oh, oh oh,
Oh, oh, oh oh,
Oh, oh, oh oh.

Something make my chest stir,
Something make my head blur.

(Oh, oh) I'm not ready for a handshake with death, no,
(Oh, oh) I'm just such a happy mess, woah.

The drums are four on the floor
She's back to the bathroom for one more.

I'm the invisible man
Who can't stop staring at the mirror (at the mirror)
I want to make you as lonely as me,
So you can get, get addicted to this
(You can get, get addicted to this now)

Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.

It's three drink too late to talk to anyone but myself,
(Oh, oh) It's a three and two pitch to walk to anywhere,
(Oh, oh) Else, no.

The drums are four on the floor
She's back to the bathroom for one more

I'm the invisible man
Who can't stop staring at the mirror (at the mirror)
I want to make you as lonely as me,
So you can get, get addicted to this
(You can get, get addicted to this now)

Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.

I'm the invisible man
Who can't stop staring at the mirror (at the mirror)
I want to make you as lonely as me,
So you can get, get addicted to this
(You can get, get addicted to this now)

I'm the invisible man (I'm the invisible man)
I'm the invisible man (I'm the invisible man)
I want to make you as lonely as me,
Cause I'm the invisible man.

I'm the invisible man.



Just because no one can see you, you feel that you have to condemn everyone for it. You're wrong. You're not too late to turn back and lead a NORMAL life.

Yours Truly,
Ezann

"For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing whether it is good or evil." - Ecclesiastes 12:2 verse 14.

26. January. 2009 Just came back from wherever. Well, kinda boring as usual. Nothing much. I have nothing to do. I miss Him. I miss him so much, I think I shall do my math tomorrow since people are coming to my place to give me my red packets because they know I'm the little princess who can never really step out of the house. So... Yup. Getting an Armani Sunglasses soon & an Iphone a week after lee's birthday. New Year's Resolution? Study harder and get 6 - 7 A* and rub it in Hian Lee's face. I am sooooooo mean but yup, that's me! :P You better come back safe and sound!!! I want my hugs you! I am so hoping to move out of this bloodly HDB and into the Condo mum's buying when both my cousins move in. This place is old and small... Damn it. Well, Gonna study hard get into Imperial get my doctor's degree get out maybe come back if my future husband/ boyfriend wants to and work my butt off, get money, get married along the way (want to get married before 30!), have kids then we'll plan as time goes by... But well, that's my long term goal so pretty much have everything planned out... I want to watch F1 this year hoping that my dad will like get me the tickets, probably bring the shawn/sean if they're interested or Hian Lee. F1!!! But sad to say my dad thinks F1 won't make it by the time I graduate from university because of the high maintenance fees... So that kinda pop Hian Lee's dreams... Ah but whatever if that's his dream that I can't say anything about it. Well, I shall mind my own business now, you can go back to whatever you were doing before reading this.

Happy Chinese New Year, Hope you get lots of Red Packets and may the year of the Ox bring you good luck and prosperity!

Here's me cam whoring again...









Ezann.

25. January. 2009 I had nothing to do today so I cam whored the whole day. :D





















24. January. 2009 Is there much to say? Life's full of Ups and Downs, letting go, forgetting, forgiving, back stabbings, smiling, laughing, crying, understanding, thinking, loving, hating, sleeping, waking, walking, talking, hugging, kissing, friendship, betrayals, apologies, sincerity, enmity... What else is there? How much more? I finally realized that life's not just another train ride, you're not protect by a shelter, the friends you called friends might just turn around and stab you, the people you trusted might be the one whom would just stand there and watch you bleed to death, the people whom you love might not appreciate the love you give them, the people you care about might not care for you the same way... Whom can I trust? Whom can I love? Whom to care for? Whom to be friends with?

Everyone on Earth is selfish, they only think about themselves, everyone just wants to survive, to make themselves look good, some might even go below the belt to do it, you order people around you, you'd never spare a thought for the people around you, you lost your sense because you wanted to make yourself look good, you thought you deserved what you deserved, but you don't. You're blind, blinded by power, by greed, by everything around you, you can't even see that it's crumbling. You just want what you want, you'd never spare a thought for the people who you call friends. You brain wash them, you tell them what's right and what's wrong but do you even know what's right and wrong? Ask yourself. Do you? You think you're always right, but you're wrong... You're wrong, you're so wrong. You lost yourself to power and greed, you lost yourself and you blinded yourself, no one did it for you... You did it yourself. To me you're nothing but someone who lost their own senses to materialistic wants, you lost it. You lost it. You're once a friend but now you're nothing, nothing but a senseless person whom just like to make life miserable for the people around you, for me... Just for your own wants. Everyone is selfish, I am too, just that some are just more self centered than others. You've changed, I barely know you anymore, and to think you were once a good friend. You've completely lost your marbles. And if you tell me I've lost it as well, then let me tell you, I've lost it years ago... I'm just as senseless as you, I'm just as crazy as you, I've lost my emotions completely and I'm as some would like to call it, a living zombie. I know nothing, emotions no longer has a definition in my dictionary, I no longer know how to smile, tears are all I've got, pain is all I know, fear is all I understand. Joy, Smiles, Happiness... Only came back when God gave him to me. I'm numb, cold, anti-social... I'm the living Zombie. I no longer posse a common sense, I no longer know how to judge right from wrong, no longer know what's justice, no longer know the definition of smile, no longer exist in your eyes... I posses only the knowledge to read, work, walk, write, eat and breathe. Betrayal is my best friend, back stabbings is my breakfast, he's my only first aid... He's the only one I trust. The only one that cares. So don't take him away from me... You still have the ones you called friends, the people whom can be your first aid, I only have him. My friends are there, but I'm not even sure if they'd be able to piece together a broken heart... So keep your hands away, keep them to yourselves, don't bitch behind my back because I hear them. Hurt. Is all I can blurt out now. Fuck off. I know you're reading this, go away and leave my heart alone. You stabbed me and added salt to open wounds, so fuck off. Stand by the side walks and watch me bleed, go. I don't need someone whom I can't trust, so just go.









24. January. 2009 (posting for 23. January. 2009) not in the mood to blog today, I'm sorry. Coming down with a freaking flu. bye. i love you!

22. January. 2009 School is as usual BORING. Lessons are pretty much the same come and go, the only lessons I look forward to is chem and jap. :\ Seems like the only two interesting subjects.... I don't know what to blog about since all my rants have been moved to my new blog so I guess I shall stop here and stop boring you out. Bye bye.

Hian Lee's IGCSE results were wonderful! (: Very proud of him. :D I love you lee!

21. January. 2009 2nd day of school. Gahhh... Boring! My new Japanese teacher is cool! :D Sooooo cool! I love her! My first japanese lesson today! :D Just had a talk with Ash and Hian Lee's watching Obama so yup. Here I am blogging. Although I've posted a privacy statement I will still try and becareful about what I put here. So if you're a spy for you know who forget I've got a new PRIVATE blog. (: Who's the one with the Big L stamped on your forehead now huh? xP okay I'm just joking, but yes.. I have a new blog for my rants and stuff that I'm unhappy about so yup, can't catch me here! (: I'll stop here today. I'm boring you people out aren't I? :D Well, love yahs! *muah*

20. January. 2009 Privacy Statement:

This blog is meant purely for rants and everyday life, anything said in this blog is meant purely for the readers I INVITED. If you just so happen to pass by, come through by any other means (link, people gave you my address, etc.) and find my blog offending or think it harms your reputation please leave the blog Or hang your computer (use any means to leave) as you were NOT an INVITED guest. Guest who were not invited have no say in whatever I put on MY blog.

I've decided to unlock my blog for convenience's sake. This is a PRIVATE blog unlocked for the sake of my friend's conveniences. Leave if you find it offending.

Regards,
Ezann

20. January. 2009 I have nothing to blog about today... Some issues with hian lee's mum as usual.... maybe it's a good time to listen to Us Against the World.

Well School started today, my brain had a total work out I started having headaches during econs and chem... So yes... It's my brain telling me I'm going too fast. Well, I'm not in the mood today so yup. Just enjoy this song by Westlife.

Us Against The World - WestLife



[Nicky:]
Us against the world
Against the world
Us against the world
Against the world

[Shane:]
You and I, we’ve been at it so long
I still got the strongest fire
You and I, we still know how to talk
Know how to walk that wire

[Mark:]
Sometimes I feel like The world is against me
The sound of your voice, baby
That's what saves me
When we're together I feel so invincible

[Shane:]
Cause it's us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Cause it's us against the world tonight

[Nicky:]
Us against the world
Against the world

[Mark:]
There’ll be days
We’ll be on different sides but
That doesn’t last too long
We find ways to get it on track
And know how to turn back on

[Shane:]
Sometimes I feel
I can’t keep it together
Then you hold me close
And you make it better
When I’m with you
I can feel so unbreakable

[Mark:]
Cause it's us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Cause it's us against the world tonight

We’re not gonna break
Cause we both still believe
We know what we’ve got
And we’ve got what we need alright
We’re doing something right...

[Shane & Mark:]
Cause it's us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Cause it's us against the world tonight

Us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Us against the world
Yeah it’s Us against the world, baby
Us against the world
Tonight

[Nicky:]
Us against the world
Against the world
Us against the world

Well done Ezann.

19. January. 2009 Notice: Blog will be locked starting 20. January. 2009. I've found out that some people in my school has been stalking others to keep myself save, I will lock my blog and make it private, please tell me if you want to continue reading my blog, will invite. (:

Regards,
Ezann

19. January. 2009 Well today is officially the last day of the holidays, school's starting tomorrow and I guess I can really officially kiss Ash good bye, he's no longer gonna be there to park his butt at the piano like he used to, he's no longer gonna be there to take away the awkwardness between people from time to time, he's gone from this school... For good, I just can't accept that fact. Time flew so fast I don't even have ironically time to cherish the times I spent with him. Well, tomorrow is the first day of school, tomorrow will be... some kinda of judgment day I guess... Bracing for the worse. Can't accept the changed yet....

Tomorrow will be day where...

I will no longer see Mdm. Ong everyday.
I will no longer have to climb up and down the stairs just to get to my home room.
I will no longer have to see certain people's faces.
I will no longer be in class 2x.
I will no longer have Ash parking his butt at the piano.
I will soon have to face 2009... GOD give me courage to face whatever challenges thrown at me.
I know one thing will never change... My love for him.

Well, 2oo9. Here I come. Leaving the past for the future.

"Friends are hard to find, good friends are even harder to find." - Unknown

I know GOD will bless me and Him with everlasting love.

18.January. 2009 I cant believe it, a year has come and gone. Hian Lee & I has been together for more than half a year, Ash is leaving, I'm starting Year 3 and well... More new friends to make. (: Well, looking forward to a great school year with Hian Lee and my academics of course! Looking forward to have a stronger bond with my friends and of course my one and only boyfriend. Time flies to quickly, I'm turning 15 in 2 months plus. ): another 15 years down the road I'll be 30! ): Maybe have a stable doctor job and probably married... but the future is uncertain and scary because of that... The future seemed to be crumbling because of my current personal issue, well I know GOD will always be there to work his magic no matter what. I'll really miss Ash... My closest friend and probably my personal "thearpist", hahaha! :P Well, it' heart breaking to know that he's leaving so I just I'll just stop here for now. GOD bless and well, smiles always. (:

Oh yeah! Ash, Hian lee & I all have the same toothbrush with the same colour! LOL. :D I was in the male toilet. :P

From that girl over there,
Ezann

Mum's fucking pissing me off again, she likes to squeeze 5 6 people in one fucking small HDB flat . She wants to be gracious offering my cousins to stay with me but like what the fuck, she lets them stay and now wants to fucking invade my privacy making me fucking pissed with her. I don't get it, if she likes to be a fucking gracious bitch just buy a bigger fucking house then let people stay, why make yourself so fucking unhappy because you want to be "gracious"? Mum's a tard.

17. January. 2009

P.S. Hian Lee, SMILE! (:

In school now posting with Hian lee's phone... Feel like the world is crumbling in front of me and I can't do anything to save it... Seems like I'm always the bad guy... Everyone seem to side her. Don't know who to trust, don't know who would love me for who I am, don't know who would be my friend for who I really am... my freedom to blog has been taken away from me... And so is my freedom to say the things I want... I want them BACK!

17. January. 2009

Posted with LifeCast

I just had my hair cut today, was walking home then suddenly this dude named Sky approached me and asked me if I'm interested in modeling... He's from this company called Imodels International. I just checked out the website and they look quite credible so I thought fine, maybe I'll just wait for the guy to call if he ever does, I'll just go train then model get the cash and buy my Iphone WAHAHAHAHA! xD Well Yes, just me dreaming...

Anyway I'm going to pack then go wash up leave for school. Whoooo. Love you guys! (:

16. January. 2009 Hello my faithful reader, are you wondering what I did today? Well, I rotted in school while watching the SC taught the new students some dance moves. Quite amusing, wahahahahaa! Talked to Ash for a while spent A LOT of time with Hian Lee today, satisfying. :D Well, no photos today... Prince Kwa was shy. ): Quite tired been talking a lot on the phone lately, haven't been sleeping well, cause of some issue in School, I'm not bothered to tell you what it is. I can feel my eye bags and see my panda eyes, I think I need to go see the M2M panda! Whahaha! Teehee. Well, that's about it for today. Today is draining because of my lack of sleep... Really need to catch proper sleep on sunday more than anything. Yawning every 5 minutes. Well done Ezann. Well Done..

I'm aruging with Hian Lee about me being Anti Social... Yes yes, I know for those of you who knew me since sec 1 you might think it's some kind of bad joke, but I USED to be VERY anti social. Teehee. I kicked the habit. :D But being around people can be quite "draining", everytime after some kind of social event I just like to be alone to help me "recharge". So, yes. I am Weird. :D

Hian Lee's watchin Mythbusters. As for me rotting. Talking to Caleb! Hahaha! I miss talking to the interactors!!!! xD

Well, I shall end here today, brain is shutting down.

15. January. 2009 Please Excuse the languages being used. This post is rated: PG.

What a wonderful way to start the new year. Orientation fucked up, Ash & I are pissed off and stuff's just like slowing starting to fuck themselves up for no apparent reason at all, wonderful isn't it? =-=

Well as for what I did today, met Ash, Orientation, Archery. It's official, Ash & I have really much a screwed up life with screwed up people trying to make our lives miserable. Wonderful, just wonderful. Whoever you are reading this whether you like it or not I'm going to go into one of my deep posts again so.... Yes, leave now if you're not a fan of my long and boring posts. :D

I was just wondering what makes people do the things they do, lie, cheat, hurt, back stab and stuff, and I sort of just came to two conclusions:

1) Make themselves look good, they do it because they want something from you they know they can never have and they have to take it away from you because they're sadistic.

2) They are Born a sadist. (:

I've had enough of back stabbings from people who calls themselves my "friends", they just stab you in the back because you have a conflict of interest... We human are despicable in every sense of the word. Well, I don't feel like going on anymore it just gets me more pissed off and that's bad for health so I shall stop here. God bless and good night ahead! (:



14. January. 2009 Ladies and Gents I would like to proudly announce that Ezann's restaurant of love is now OPEN. Make reservations in advancement for extra love! :D Hahaha! All are welcomed! Don't worry that's enough love to go around! :D

Okay I'm being super duper lame now. Hahaha!

Anyway, we went hiking today... Bad experience... Brr... I really cannot make it! ): Found out that Hian Lee was like OVERLY fit lah! D: Ezann is OVERLY unfit! ): Now Hian Lee's got some shin problem now. I shall be sadistic and laugh now. HAHAHAA! Oh God, retribution, now I'm having muscle cramps on my leg!!!! OH NO! ): Well I shall post some photos here now... Hehs. Overall I guess today was kinda fun. :D















That's all for today.

13. January. 2009 Just found out that Ash's not going to Orientation because of someone, still quite depressed over that issue. I'm afraid that I won't be able to control myself, Ash & Hian Lee are like my pillar of hope and strength. They're the ones who kept me going, who were always there for me, always lending me a shoulder to cry on and right now it feels like half of it is missing... Feels like something's been taken away from me... Ever since I fell out with this friend of mine, everything seemed to have changed. Life seemed to have changed, taking another route. A crazier one. Any one who's been back-stabbed time and again should know how I feel now, or maybe not, maybe I was the one who should be blamed for my own back-stabbings, if I had just... Ah I don't know. Maybe that's the way to go, keep telling myself that it has always been my fault, maybe that's how I can finally learn to forgive that person in that process, just maybe. Need to find a way out of this, I don't want to continue crying over a spilled milk. I just want to let go, just wanna get over with it. Just want to. Fear's been eating me up, I don't want to snap when I see her, I don't want to break down and cry. I DON'T WANT TO. I just want a NORMAL life, is it that difficult? I guess that's why you people keep coming back to read my blog, my life is just THAT dramatic, THAT interesting, THAT boring. That's what keeps you coming back isn't it? It's not the advice, the thinking into things but rather the drama and staleness of my life isn't it? Well. I'm not in the mood to go on anymore, so the next half of this post goes to Ash & Hian Lee.

Both were my gift from God, both are precious to me, both are now my necessity, only difference is I love them in different ways. One's my best pal and the other my true love, both are always there whenever needed, both are my shoulders to cry on, both are the people I trust and both are the people I cherish and treasure a lot. Both are the people I don't wish to lose more importantly they were there when I fell from grace, any one who knew me well knows what happened, from miss popular to miss loser all in one night, and these two well, were always there. So I guess God did hear my prayers every night, the prayers for a true friend and a faithful lover. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you, Kwa Hian Lee & Ash Randhay, two very special people in an ordinary girl's life.

12. January. 2009 If you're wondering what I did today, well... I went to preaching point to help out and then tennis, no Archery due to preaching point. I apologize for my aggressive post yesterday. Well anyway I'm over that... No deep thoughts or whatever. So yeah... No idea what I'm gonna do tomorrow since Ash is busy. Tuesday might do the 8 hour walk with Amber. Well... That's about it today. Really very bored, anyone wants to talk? ): Add me on msn! (:

My recent addiction:

Shut Up & Drive - Rihanna



I've been looking for a driver who is qualified
So if you think that you're the one step into my ride
I'm a fine-tuned supersonic speed machine
With a sunroof top and a gangster lead

So if you feel me let me know, know, know
Come on now what you waiting for, for, for
My engine's ready to explode, explode, explode
So start me up and watch me go, go, go,

Get you where you wanna go if you know what i mean
Got a ride that's smoother than a limousine
Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?
If you can baby boy then we can go all night

Goes from 0 to 60 in three point five
Baby you got the keys-

Now shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)

Shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)

I got class like a' 57 Cadillac
Got all the drive but a whole lot of boom in the back
You look like you can handle whats under my hood
You keep saying that you will boy I wish you would

So if you feel me let me know, know, know
Come on now what you waiting for, for, for
My engine's ready to explode, explode, explode
So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go

Get you where you wanna go if you know what i mean
Got a ride that's smoother than a limousine
Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?
If you can baby boy then we can go all night

Goes from 0 to 60 in three point five
Baby you got the keys-

Now shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)

Shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)

Cos you (indistinct) got what I got (Get it Get it)
Don't Stop It's a sure shot
Aint no Ferrari huh boy I'm sorry
I ain't even worried
So step inside and ride
(ride, ride, ride, ride, ride)

So if you feel me let me know, know, know
Come on now what you waiting for, for, for
My engine's ready to explode, explode, explode
So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go

Get you where you wanna go if you know what i mean
Got a ride that's smoother than a limousine
Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?
If you can baby boy then we can go all night

Goes from 0 to 60 in three point five
Baby you got the keys-

Now shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)

Shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)

Now shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)

Shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)

Photos from today:









Hearts. ♥

11. January. 2009 I went for archery today, this week would be one of my busiest week before school starts again. Well, my skills have greatly deteriorated... Singapore's number 5 is now probably Singapore's worse Archer... I doubt I'll want to take part in any competitions this year... Not with this kind of skills at least. I am so screwed... Sighs.

Moving On...

This is a true story. I've recently received an email on facebook:

"Ur friend's gf is steal from me one and I was his ex colleague."

I shall not name who sent me this and who was this person referring to, but when I first read that message the first thing that came to my mind was: "Why does this concern me?" I mean the guy he was talking about was a friend yes, but we hardly ever see each other anymore, so technically it really doesn't concern me. Then I wanted to ask this guy if he had ever thought about why his girlfriend left him for my friend? Why has his relationship failed? Why go on blaming someone else for something you have done wrong? Reason may vary but really, I expected something more matured from an adult. Why are people so low as to do such a thing I really don't understand. =-="

And then this afternoon I saw this comment on youtube, about how this person despised immigrants who comes here to work and is very convinced that they're polluting a glorious country like Singapore. Well whoever you are reading my blog and you have the same opinion of immigrants let me tell you this, I DESPISE PEOPLE LIKE YOU THE MOST. Ever thought about why those people left home to come here and work? Ever wondered how these people would feel? Ever wondered how the pavement YOU fucking WALK on EVERYDAY came to be? Hello! Wake up! Roads and pavement don't just appear, they have to be made and who makes them these immigrants, these people who left home to come here and WORK. Please, don't take these people for granted, without them there would be HDBs, Toilets, Roads, Pavements, everyday objects you take for granted. I admit I am guilty of taking such things for granted at times but what I despise the most is people who take things for granted but still dare to say that those people who worked their butts off for us are pollutants! What is this? We are all EQUAL, everyone in this world is equal, so don't treat people who do hard labor like shit cause without them there would be people like us, rich & ignorant.

I know this post will start controversies and such, but once again and I emphasize, THIS IS MY BLOG, DON'T LIKE IT? LEAVE.

This is purely a place for my rants and unhappiness, do ignore it if you don't like it.

Well, here's another Joe Hisaishi Piece so enjoy.

Summer - Joe Hisaishi




10. January. 2009 It's out half year today. We didn't go out today, not talking on msn either cause his mother wants him to turn off the computer so... You get my point. So I'm kinda lonely now... So here I am blogging again. What am I going to do without Hian Lee?

Well nothing to blog about today. I didn't do anything anyway, was supposed to go get my hair cut today but I thought well forget it... Archery tomorrow. Nothing much.

Well Here's our song.

Built to last - Melee



I've looked for love in stranger places,
but never found someone like you.
Someone whose smile makes me feel I've been holding back,
and now there's nothing I can't do.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

All of our friends saw from the start.
So why didn't we believe it too?
Whoa yeah, now look where we are.
You're in my heart now.
And there's no escaping it for you.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

Walking on the hills that night with those fireworks and candlelight
You and I were made to get love right

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

'Cause you are the sun in my universe,
considered the best when we've felt the worst
and most of all it's built to last.

Made a video for him about us. Gonna spend our first valentines soon. Well Have a good day. (:

9. January. 2009 Can you believe it? It's almost half a year since Hian Lee & I got together. Time seemed to fly pass so quickly, I could hardly believe it. Tomorrow's our half year mark! :D

That Aside, I went out with Him today cause he has violin lessons tomorrow so we celebrated our half year anniversary a day early. We watched Yes Man at Jurong point, God has that place changed! I got lost! Well that's about what I did today.

I know some of you come here to seek my so called advice on relationships but today, there's not going to be advice, but rather the other way round, I'm the one asking the question today, I'm the one seeking for an answer. I'm lost.

I'm lost, stucked between what I want and my principals, it's tough for me to try and forgive and forget someone who's hurt me so bad. Those ex-buddies of mine I've kinda moved on because of the crew but this other one, this other one that has added so much salt to those cuts & wounds that... it hurts even up till now. I don't know how to do this anymore. Her face, her voice even her name can bring back memories, I don't know why it's been so difficult for me this time round. I don't know why. I want to forgive & forget, but there's this other part of me that can't do it. I don't know, I'm lost, I need help... I need GOD. How am I to face her, to face myself? What is it that makes it so difficult? What do I need in order to let go? I don't know. The holidays seemed to have healed up most stuffs but... it's just me again. Me being afraid to lose that someone I love so much, me being paranoid, me just being me. I don't want to be lonely again, I'm afraid... Very afraid... Hian Lee, I need you so stay by me and hold me tight in your arms.

GOD, show me a way, make a path for me, bring me to the truth and see me through this hardship. I know you will help me, I know some how you're trying to teach me something but, I just don't know what. Like how I trusted Hian Lee with my fragile glass heart, I'll put my faith and trust in you. I know you will see me through this somehow, you've worked miracles for me so many times I forgot how many, I know you'll work something out for me this time as well...

I know I've posted this song months ago in one of my pervious post but this song seems to be the most relevent song for today.

God Will Make A Way - Don Moen



God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way

By a roadway in the wilderness
You lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today

It's just 30 minutes to our half year mark. I love you Hian Lee. (:

8. January. 2009 Hello my faithful readers.

Today was not that bad, Archery was as again a blast I had no idea how much I missed Angie & Gordon until I met them today... For the many of you who come for the I did nothings I'm sorry but I did do something today, as for the many more who came for my deep thinking then well, it's your lucky day, hahaha...

I've just been thinking, about myself, about how people perceive me to be. Some of you might think I'm different, more mature than the average 14 year old, some might think that I'm a total bitch for whatever the reason that I might have offended you, that I apologize, many might think that I'm cute as most of you might say, and maybe lots more might think I'm just average looking or even ugly. This is really, about myself, how I perceive myself, how I think about myself as honestly as possible...

I perceive myself to be a very aggressive person, once I bite I won't let go, but of course once I cool down it's really a different story. I am also a very self centered person, I like to think about myself, like to praise myself, hates to lose, always wanting perfection, thus the blog's name: "Perfection Is Everything." I also regard myself to be the so called opposition party, the more you think I can't do it the more I want to prove to you that I CAN do it, then rub my success in your face, I like to be the winner of everything my pride is my greatest weakness, if I claim 2nd no one else can claim first, though I am still quite open toward criticisms, I believe it can only make me a better person. Flaws aside I can be a very nice person. I'm honest, generous, gracious, soft-hearted, Animal loving, respectful (This only applies if you respect me as well), Understanding, always a listening ear, thoughtful, loving and I'm also a person who gives good relationship advice. xD Now don't get me wrong I'm no love guru, I'm just giving my thoughts on certain relationships.

Love is a mystical thing, just like GOD, always there but never visible. I believe I'm mention this before in one of my previous post, Up till now I still can't comprehend what love is. All I know is, love is about sacrifice, both must give in order to receive. Love can make you feel like you're in heaven but it can also hurt like hell. Learn to accept one's flaws is learning to love. I'm not just talking about romantic relationships, I'm also referring to friendship and family love...

I shall stop boring you out with my long annoying thoughts and leave you to go back to doing whatever you were doing before reading this. Enjoy this classical piece by once again Joe Hisashi.

It's love isn't it - Joe Hisashi



"Learning to love someone is learning to accept one's flaws, we love GOD it's simply because he's flawless, we find it hard to love man simply because we find it hard to accept another's flaws." - Unknown

Best Wishes,
Ezann

7. January. 2009

2 days more till our half year anniversary. (: I love you Hian Lee. Let's see what did do today... Nothing in the morning, met Ash in the evening. Hian Lee's results in 2 weeks he's probably freaking out by now and my subject combination will be out soon as well so I'm also freaking out. Well nothing to do tomorrow cept archery...

Questions Flooded my brain on my way home... Stuffs like what's gonna happen later on this year, will stuff be all peaceful? Will everything be smooth sailing from here? So many questions, not so much time...

For the so many of you who reads my blog, you're either here for the I did nothing today or the deep thinking into love and life... For the I did nothings well... I DID do something today so... Nothing for you. As for those who come for my wise advice... Well... not much either, it's rather a story of me & my beloved.

I've been thinking... Still trying to figure out why I love this stick man who's a head taller than me and kinda perverted half the time... How the hell did I, Ezann Kuek Zi Hui, fall in love with this guy... I still can't get my answer after so long. It's a feeling that attracts me to him, and it's that same feeling which made me so madly in love with him. I love everything about this guy and...probably never will get sick of him... I do know after so many experiences that being in a relationship isn't about the face, it isn't about how people look at you... It's about giving and receiving, it's about the chemistry two people share, it's about that mutual feeling both party have for each other, one must understand that being in a relationship isn't just about YOU anymore... It's about your other half as well. A relationship will never work if you're selfish, for as they say: "It takes 2 to tango." I'm still trying not to put myself at the center of everything, still trying to learn how to look out for others, especially the ones I love, Especially Hian Lee. No matter how sick and perverted this guy is, he's always a jewel in everyone's eye. The precious gem stone, the Gold Bar, the million dollar prize money, and to me... He's more than that, he's my everything because I've more or less given my entire heart to him... Those fragmented glass pieces glued back to become what it is today... Shattered time and again... He's helping me stick back the pieces of my broken glass heart and I just hope that he won't drop it... I've been through Thick & Thin with this guy... Everyone seemed to be against us of being together... He's Romeo & I'm Juliet... He's Prince Charming & I'm the poor maid working for a rich family. We were never meant to be. It's really... Us against the world. Perfect match says many, but will they work out asks more... Still hand in hand after almost 6 months, will always be for many years to come.

Many have once asked me, how the hell do you do it Ezann? How the hell did you go through all those shit and still say I love you? And I told them... Trust in GOD, Faith in Him & Well... Hope for the best. Even though sometimes the best never really came but I just kept telling myself, it'll work out somehow... For GOD would ALWAYS make a way... Just... Trust him to. Life's a roller coaster ride, there's always UPs & DOWNs. Just Trust in GOD & have faith in Him. I'm marveled that I survived all that shit with Hian Lee, I still don't know how I did it, but I just did. Love makes one do lots of crazy stuff and some would say only fools fall in love, and I guess I'm one of them.

For now, just enjoy this beautiful piece of Music by Joe Hisashi.

Howl's Moving Castle Theme - Joe Hisashi



Best of luck to all current relationships. Well wishes to singles.

"I've finally found someone I want to protect... And that someone is YOU." - Howls

With Love,
Ezann.

6. January. 2009 Well Here I am... Home at last. Sitting in my room again blogging about my boring life. I miss my big bed! :D So bored. Waiting for Prince Kwa to come back in the mean time I guess I'll just nap first... I want a doggggg!!! I want daddie's Afgan Hound! Sweet dog I tell you! :D Well nothing much to talk about anymore. Going out with Ash tomorrow. Hehs.

My Life Is Boring.

5. January. 2009 Here I am Bored again. ): I just finished talking to Hian Lee. That guy will never fail to make me laugh and smile. :D Well I can't say I didn't do anything today cause I went to several small towns for shopping mum refused to buy me my mini skirt. ): Well I guess I'll just go shop of it on my own. xD

I was born to love you - Queen



I was born to love you
With every single beat of my heart
Yes, I was born to take care of you
Every single day...

Alright! Hey hey!

I was born to love you
With every single beat of my heart
Yes, I was born to take care of you
Every single day of my life

You are the one for me
I am the man for you
You were made for me
you're my ecstasy
If I was given every opportunity
I'd kill for your love

So take a chance with me
Let me romance with you
I'm caught in a dream
And my dream's come true
It's so hard to believe
This is happening to me
An amazing feelin'
Comin' through

I was born to love you
With every single beat of my heart
Yes, I was born to take care of you
Every single day of my life

I wanna love you
I love every little thing about you
I wanna love you, love you, love you
Born - to love you
Born - to love you
Yes I was born to love you
Born - to love you
Born - to love you
Every single day - of my life

An amazing feelin'
Comin' through

I was born to love you
With every single beat of my heart
Yes, I was born to take care of you
Every single day of my life

Yes I was born to love you
Every single day of my life

Go, I love you babe
Yes, I was born to love you
I wanna love you , love you, love you
I wanna love you
Hahahaha...it's magic! (what's?)
Hahaha!
I get so lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely
Yeah, I want to love you
Yeah, give it to me...haha







hahahaha! Ah, I miss my Hian Lee. I love him too. ): Hian Lee Baka! ): Going Home Tomorrow.

4. January. 2009 I went shopping but didn't buy anything. ): Didn't do anything much today. Seeing dad tomorrow. :D Going to the museum tomorrow. Weeeee.. Sighs.

Photoooooosssssss:







Weee... No more. go back to talk to hian lee now. :D

3. January. 2009 Went shopping today. I have nothing to Blog about today... Sighs bored. I'm on MSN with Hian Lee Now. I missed him a lot! :D Hian LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... Going shopping again tmrw. Blog again tmrw I guess...

Some Photos...









Bleh. Bye.

2. January. 2009 Heys I'm in Tokyo now. Happy New Year People! (: I went to Disney Land today with cousins, saw Hian Lee for 10 Seconds and got my New Year's Kiss. Kinda disappointed... Sighs. I miss my Hian Lee. Took photos with some Disney Characters. I'm going shopping tomorrow, buying New Boots. Boots were my first love. xP They were my first Fashion Statement. xP I don't know what to say anymore. I miss my Hian Lee. Hian Lee. Hian Lee. Hian Lee! Gahh..

My New Addiction.

First Love - Utada Hikaru



最後のキスはタバコの flavor がした
ニガくてせつない香り

明日の今頃には あなたはどこにいるんだろう
誰を思ってるんだろう

You are always gonna be my love
いつか誰かとまた恋に落ちても
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
今はまだ悲しい love song
新しい歌 歌えるまで

立ち止まる時間が動き出そうとしてる
忘れたくないことばかり wou

明日の今頃には わたしはきっと泣いている
あなたを思ってるんだろう yeah yeah yeah

You will always be inside my heart
いつもあなただけの場所があるから
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
今はまだ悲しい love song
新しい歌 うたえるまで

You are always gonna be my love
いつか誰かとまた恋に落ちても
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
まだ悲しい love song

Now and forever...

Some Pictures From Tokyo so far:







No Photos With Hian Lee though. ): Sighs I miss you. Be Safe. Love You Too.

1. January. 2009

Ezann Hellos! The name's Ezann and I was brought into this world on the 25th of March 1994. I'm taken by Hian Lee. :D I can't change a lot of things and I know one of them is the fact that I love Him. My passion is Archery & currently holding a 36 pound bow. I love sweet stuffs as well as anything with fluffy furs. I'll be a loyal friend if you don't betray me. ;) I own a baby blue Donkey named PiR^2, he's the persona of my happiness. He brings out the happiness in me. Cause somehow I can't seem to bring it out through me... So He's here to bring it out for me. Sadness overwhelms most of me... My happiness lives though Donkey.


Thomas Sabo Eternity Charm

New Coach Wallet

Lots of Hugs

2010 F1 Tickets

Bring Interact one step forward this year

Samoyed Doggie

Get more sleep!

Do well for IGCSEs

New friends

You know i finally realized why some people wants to make life so difficult for others, this is my theory not sure about you, but they want to make like hard for others simply because they know that the person they're picking on is better than them in so many ways, be it kinder, more beautiful, happier or whatever. They know if they compare with you fair and square they'd lose out, that's why they have to sink into the depths of the ocean to make your life hard, to make it difficult. So listen to me whoever who have been back stabbed or people is trying to make life hard for you take my word for it, the person who's picking on you knows they can't compare to you because you're better than them in so many ways. So whoever you are reading this and have something against me or simply just want to see me miserable just fuck off, you can't compare to me. I'm better looking (I know I am), kinder, happier (than you'll ever be), have a great lover & love life and so much more. So yeah, you know you can't match up, so why should I sink to your level? Why should I? I've already won this battle, I've won it before it has even started and you know it that's why you want to make my life so difficult. (: Don't worry, I like a little challenge in lfe sometimes so give me your best shot, try me, you've lost even before it has started. (: I'm not afraid of you, so give me your best shot because you know why? I know I'll walk out of this unharmed. So tell me who's getting the last laugh now? (: You'd better screw off and mind your own fucking beeswax before you get hurt. Hahahaha! Piece of advice, don't pick up a fight if you know you can't win.

My ego is so huge. So huge! Hahahahaha! Maybe my ego will bring me down one day but for now, hahahaha! It's just making me feel so good about myself. (: Screw off from my blog if you hate me. (: My big huge inflatable ego! :P I love my Hian Lee!!!!!!!! We're stuck together with commercialized glue, inseparable! So if you want to tear us apart, go ahead and try cause you know why, he won't leave me, cause I'm sooooooo irresistible and even if he did there are millions out there to cushion my fall, to lend me a shoulder. So you failed on attempts, if you even attempt. (: Who's the one walking with a big L on the forehead at the end of the day? YOU! (: Failed on all attempts. (:

The Bitch,
Ezann

31. January. 2009 I ask you now, the person who's reading this, do you have a guilt? Will you be able to sleep at night if know you you've done something wrong? Or will your guilt eat you up? I've met many kinds of people but just recently I've met the lowest kind of human, the type which would want you to suffer with them simply because you're happy. The kind which will try anything to take you down and make sure you live in a cold dark world like them. They want you to be like them, to take you down, to make sure your life is miserable... They are just that twisted, and the sad thing is they don't know what they're doing wrong. They think it's okay to stab people in the back, to see people cry, to see them be unhappy, to tear people up bit by bit, to taken other's heart and smash it into 10 million different pieces. They think it's perfectly fine. They hate people who smile, who laugh, who enjoy life, they can't take that simply because they're jealous.

These people are so low, so damn low, how low can they sink before they hit rock bottom? How low can one get? How Low? How Low? I'm right, you have to be numb to survive in today's society, to have to lose all emotions in order to survive, to sell your soul to someone else...

Life's not fair, life's just not fair. Go pick on someone your own size, go emo in your dark little corner, I beg of you to leave me alone. Go give hell to someone else. Fuck Off. I hope guilt eats you up after you read this, I hope something in that empty skull of yours tells you that what you're doing is wrong. I hope you know that I'm not afraid of you nor your best friend, so snap out of it, tell it in my face what you're unhappy about, you have the guts to say it behind me you have the guts to say it in front of me, dimwit. So say it, have the fucking guts to say it in front of me. (: You know I'm not afraid, you know it. And ask your best friend to stay out of this after all she's graduated. (:

And once again,

Pavlove - Fall Out Boy



Oh, oh, oh oh,
Oh, oh, oh oh,
Oh, oh, oh oh.

Something make my chest stir,
Something make my head blur.

(Oh, oh) I'm not ready for a handshake with death, no,
(Oh, oh) I'm just such a happy mess, woah.

The drums are four on the floor
She's back to the bathroom for one more.

I'm the invisible man
Who can't stop staring at the mirror (at the mirror)
I want to make you as lonely as me,
So you can get, get addicted to this
(You can get, get addicted to this now)

Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.

It's three drink too late to talk to anyone but myself,
(Oh, oh) It's a three and two pitch to walk to anywhere,
(Oh, oh) Else, no.

The drums are four on the floor
She's back to the bathroom for one more

I'm the invisible man
Who can't stop staring at the mirror (at the mirror)
I want to make you as lonely as me,
So you can get, get addicted to this
(You can get, get addicted to this now)

Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.

I'm the invisible man
Who can't stop staring at the mirror (at the mirror)
I want to make you as lonely as me,
So you can get, get addicted to this
(You can get, get addicted to this now)

I'm the invisible man (I'm the invisible man)
I'm the invisible man (I'm the invisible man)
I want to make you as lonely as me,
Cause I'm the invisible man.

I'm the invisible man.


No song in this world can describe people like them like this song.

30. January. 2009 Well, I've given careful thoughts about my post last night and I realized that even though my life's a drama it's tiring and tough to be the great actress of my own drama. I've decided to give up acting, it's draining my energy. I just want to run away from reality, where no one can touch me no one can hurt me... Where me & him would be left alone in peace... Acting is just a part of me which makes Ezann, Ezann. Live, laugh & love. The 3 Ls of life. I want to learn how to trust, how to cherish and how to be optimistic. I've failed and failed and failed. I need someone to keep reassuring me that it's going to be okay, that there'll always be ways to slove the problem. I need someone to keep telling me this, maybe this is why I've never really excelled in my maths, because if I can't slove problems once, I'll give up.... And right now, I'm depend on Hian Lee to keep reassuring me that everything's going to be okay... I want to be... Fearless. My life's a drama, I'm the actress but this actress is retiring. (:

My recent addictions.

Thunder - Boys like Girls


Lyrics | Boys Like Girls lyrics - Thunder lyrics

Enjoy. (:

29. January. 2009 I've got nothing to say, loved archery! Should be starting 50M soon, sad. My fingers got blisters because I was pulling too many arrows. ): Now my fingers hurt, now my fingers looks like Hian Lee's. ): Uglyyyyy.... But I love him none the less. :D So lovable. Look at his kawaii face! :D Probably will start teaching him jap soon, cause he's like nagging at me. ): Hehs. I love you lee! :P Stay by my side forever. (:

Looking back from where I have began, I know that I've improved a great deal. From a fireworks of arrows to quite a nice grouping if I put my mind to it. So yup, don't offend me or you'll be courting death! Every arrow is deadly accurate, so be afraid be very afraid. (:

When life throws you lemons you make lemonade, when life throws you shit you make shit cakes and throw them back! :D You know I feel like some people thinks that my life is a one stop drama central or something, you come for the thrills, the omgs, but you'll never know when this great actress will show you the wrong scenes. My acting skills are top grade, you'll never know when I'm telling the truth or when I'm lying, only the people who knows me, E.G. Ash, Hian Lee. Knows, for the great actress always shows her directors the scripts, as for you... (: You can NEVER tell the difference. Though it is true that one of my great directors of my scripts is almost going to leave for some random island soon, but I have my other great director, Hian Lee. (: The love of my life. The people I love, I care about knows when I'm putting up an act and when I'm not, the people whom just came for the show don't. (: So continue watching as you please, entertain yourselves but before you know it, the story might just turn scary. So hold on to your seats, buckle up, stuff yourself up with pop corns and get ready, the story is just beginning. (: I'm no average little girl, I'm not average little Cinderella, I'm Ezann and You know it. My life's a drama, and you chose to watch so don't run away when it turns scary... (: For when it does turn scary, you'll cry and wet your pants. As sadistic as you, the person who's reading this, are I am just as sadistic as you. So don't run away, don't let my synopsis scare you, know what you're watching and know how interesting my life is for once it starts, it doesn't stop. (This applies only to the people whom hates me or my guts, and who keeps coming back for more.) My life is scary, scary to the people who made it that way, it's Karma, what you do comes back to you. (: So let's play a game of chess, and we'll see who's the last man standing. (:

"Love your neighbor as you love yourself." - Matthew 22:37 verse 40.

Any wise man would know the meaning of that. (: Even a 15 year old can figure this out so why can't you? (:

Remember, I choose what to show and what to act out, I choose what you watch, so... remember, I'm no fool... No fool. (:

I LOVE YOU HIAN LEE! :D

28. January. 2009 I have nothing to say...

Welcome to my life - Simple Plan



Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life



27. January, 2009 Hello you!

(: I miss Him!!!! :DDDDDD

I'm in an incredible good mood today! (:

Well whoever you are reading this, HELLO! :D

If you came here by pure accident and don't seem to like me very much because of whatever reason please kindly click that little red button on top of your screen, because chances are I might not like you very much as well. :D

Well now that's done. I just found out how low people can get when it comes to something they want. Some would sink LOW into the depths of the ocean or whatever just to get that thing or person they want. Sadly, I've met a few people like that in my school and comparing the people I've dealt with two years ago to the people I now see today, I must say... Those people then are so No Kick. I finally realized how to survive in society, that is to numb yourself. Have no feelings whatsoever for the people around you. Have no feelings for little children you know, no feelings for the friends you call friends THAT'S how you survive, because once you're numb you're unstoppable. No guilt for what you've done, no sense of conciseness, nothing. Zero. Only by doing that will you survive in what we call society today. But well I guess I'll the minority who wouldn't survive then. Because I can't numb myself, I have guilt and I have a concision. I know who are the people who would stay by me and who are the people who wouldn't hesitate to stab me in the back when they have to. Sad to say who ever you are reading this who hasn't close this window yet simply because you're disobedient or doesn't understand ENGLISH, might just be the ones who have already stabbed me in the back or are the ones who wouldn't hesitate. Some people are just so sad. SO SAD. And sad to say some of them are the people I know not really as friends but just know. And as I've said before if you get angry just by reading this or hates my guts just by reading this, YOU KNOW THAT I AM SPEAKING NOTHING BUT FACTS. (: So shame on you. (: Why do such people exist I don't know, but I know they'll probably never have a good ending to their lives. Oh well, God knows the righteous and the righteous shall always stay righteous. God knows, God knows. Just been wondering the people who've done wrong, who are so sick and wrong in on so many levels do their guilt eat them up before they sleep at night? Would they feel bad about what they've been doing? Or are they so numb that the word guilt no longer has a definition? I really DO wonder. (: I shall stop thinking too much into things. I will finish up my math homework tomorrow, and this is NOT me procrastinating! :P

This is what I think those people are, I'm talking about the sad people who just like to make like hard for others, this song really describe them:

Pavlove - Fall Out Boy



Oh, oh, oh oh,
Oh, oh, oh oh,
Oh, oh, oh oh.

Something make my chest stir,
Something make my head blur.

(Oh, oh) I'm not ready for a handshake with death, no,
(Oh, oh) I'm just such a happy mess, woah.

The drums are four on the floor
She's back to the bathroom for one more.

I'm the invisible man
Who can't stop staring at the mirror (at the mirror)
I want to make you as lonely as me,
So you can get, get addicted to this
(You can get, get addicted to this now)

Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.

It's three drink too late to talk to anyone but myself,
(Oh, oh) It's a three and two pitch to walk to anywhere,
(Oh, oh) Else, no.

The drums are four on the floor
She's back to the bathroom for one more

I'm the invisible man
Who can't stop staring at the mirror (at the mirror)
I want to make you as lonely as me,
So you can get, get addicted to this
(You can get, get addicted to this now)

Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.
Oh, oh, oh oh.

I'm the invisible man
Who can't stop staring at the mirror (at the mirror)
I want to make you as lonely as me,
So you can get, get addicted to this
(You can get, get addicted to this now)

I'm the invisible man (I'm the invisible man)
I'm the invisible man (I'm the invisible man)
I want to make you as lonely as me,
Cause I'm the invisible man.

I'm the invisible man.



Just because no one can see you, you feel that you have to condemn everyone for it. You're wrong. You're not too late to turn back and lead a NORMAL life.

Yours Truly,
Ezann

"For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing whether it is good or evil." - Ecclesiastes 12:2 verse 14.

26. January. 2009 Just came back from wherever. Well, kinda boring as usual. Nothing much. I have nothing to do. I miss Him. I miss him so much, I think I shall do my math tomorrow since people are coming to my place to give me my red packets because they know I'm the little princess who can never really step out of the house. So... Yup. Getting an Armani Sunglasses soon & an Iphone a week after lee's birthday. New Year's Resolution? Study harder and get 6 - 7 A* and rub it in Hian Lee's face. I am sooooooo mean but yup, that's me! :P You better come back safe and sound!!! I want my hugs you! I am so hoping to move out of this bloodly HDB and into the Condo mum's buying when both my cousins move in. This place is old and small... Damn it. Well, Gonna study hard get into Imperial get my doctor's degree get out maybe come back if my future husband/ boyfriend wants to and work my butt off, get money, get married along the way (want to get married before 30!), have kids then we'll plan as time goes by... But well, that's my long term goal so pretty much have everything planned out... I want to watch F1 this year hoping that my dad will like get me the tickets, probably bring the shawn/sean if they're interested or Hian Lee. F1!!! But sad to say my dad thinks F1 won't make it by the time I graduate from university because of the high maintenance fees... So that kinda pop Hian Lee's dreams... Ah but whatever if that's his dream that I can't say anything about it. Well, I shall mind my own business now, you can go back to whatever you were doing before reading this.

Happy Chinese New Year, Hope you get lots of Red Packets and may the year of the Ox bring you good luck and prosperity!

Here's me cam whoring again...









Ezann.

25. January. 2009 I had nothing to do today so I cam whored the whole day. :D





















24. January. 2009 Is there much to say? Life's full of Ups and Downs, letting go, forgetting, forgiving, back stabbings, smiling, laughing, crying, understanding, thinking, loving, hating, sleeping, waking, walking, talking, hugging, kissing, friendship, betrayals, apologies, sincerity, enmity... What else is there? How much more? I finally realized that life's not just another train ride, you're not protect by a shelter, the friends you called friends might just turn around and stab you, the people you trusted might be the one whom would just stand there and watch you bleed to death, the people whom you love might not appreciate the love you give them, the people you care about might not care for you the same way... Whom can I trust? Whom can I love? Whom to care for? Whom to be friends with?

Everyone on Earth is selfish, they only think about themselves, everyone just wants to survive, to make themselves look good, some might even go below the belt to do it, you order people around you, you'd never spare a thought for the people around you, you lost your sense because you wanted to make yourself look good, you thought you deserved what you deserved, but you don't. You're blind, blinded by power, by greed, by everything around you, you can't even see that it's crumbling. You just want what you want, you'd never spare a thought for the people who you call friends. You brain wash them, you tell them what's right and what's wrong but do you even know what's right and wrong? Ask yourself. Do you? You think you're always right, but you're wrong... You're wrong, you're so wrong. You lost yourself to power and greed, you lost yourself and you blinded yourself, no one did it for you... You did it yourself. To me you're nothing but someone who lost their own senses to materialistic wants, you lost it. You lost it. You're once a friend but now you're nothing, nothing but a senseless person whom just like to make life miserable for the people around you, for me... Just for your own wants. Everyone is selfish, I am too, just that some are just more self centered than others. You've changed, I barely know you anymore, and to think you were once a good friend. You've completely lost your marbles. And if you tell me I've lost it as well, then let me tell you, I've lost it years ago... I'm just as senseless as you, I'm just as crazy as you, I've lost my emotions completely and I'm as some would like to call it, a living zombie. I know nothing, emotions no longer has a definition in my dictionary, I no longer know how to smile, tears are all I've got, pain is all I know, fear is all I understand. Joy, Smiles, Happiness... Only came back when God gave him to me. I'm numb, cold, anti-social... I'm the living Zombie. I no longer posse a common sense, I no longer know how to judge right from wrong, no longer know what's justice, no longer know the definition of smile, no longer exist in your eyes... I posses only the knowledge to read, work, walk, write, eat and breathe. Betrayal is my best friend, back stabbings is my breakfast, he's my only first aid... He's the only one I trust. The only one that cares. So don't take him away from me... You still have the ones you called friends, the people whom can be your first aid, I only have him. My friends are there, but I'm not even sure if they'd be able to piece together a broken heart... So keep your hands away, keep them to yourselves, don't bitch behind my back because I hear them. Hurt. Is all I can blurt out now. Fuck off. I know you're reading this, go away and leave my heart alone. You stabbed me and added salt to open wounds, so fuck off. Stand by the side walks and watch me bleed, go. I don't need someone whom I can't trust, so just go.









24. January. 2009 (posting for 23. January. 2009) not in the mood to blog today, I'm sorry. Coming down with a freaking flu. bye. i love you!

22. January. 2009 School is as usual BORING. Lessons are pretty much the same come and go, the only lessons I look forward to is chem and jap. :\ Seems like the only two interesting subjects.... I don't know what to blog about since all my rants have been moved to my new blog so I guess I shall stop here and stop boring you out. Bye bye.

Hian Lee's IGCSE results were wonderful! (: Very proud of him. :D I love you lee!

21. January. 2009 2nd day of school. Gahhh... Boring! My new Japanese teacher is cool! :D Sooooo cool! I love her! My first japanese lesson today! :D Just had a talk with Ash and Hian Lee's watching Obama so yup. Here I am blogging. Although I've posted a privacy statement I will still try and becareful about what I put here. So if you're a spy for you know who forget I've got a new PRIVATE blog. (: Who's the one with the Big L stamped on your forehead now huh? xP okay I'm just joking, but yes.. I have a new blog for my rants and stuff that I'm unhappy about so yup, can't catch me here! (: I'll stop here today. I'm boring you people out aren't I? :D Well, love yahs! *muah*

20. January. 2009 Privacy Statement:

This blog is meant purely for rants and everyday life, anything said in this blog is meant purely for the readers I INVITED. If you just so happen to pass by, come through by any other means (link, people gave you my address, etc.) and find my blog offending or think it harms your reputation please leave the blog Or hang your computer (use any means to leave) as you were NOT an INVITED guest. Guest who were not invited have no say in whatever I put on MY blog.

I've decided to unlock my blog for convenience's sake. This is a PRIVATE blog unlocked for the sake of my friend's conveniences. Leave if you find it offending.

Regards,
Ezann

20. January. 2009 I have nothing to blog about today... Some issues with hian lee's mum as usual.... maybe it's a good time to listen to Us Against the World.

Well School started today, my brain had a total work out I started having headaches during econs and chem... So yes... It's my brain telling me I'm going too fast. Well, I'm not in the mood today so yup. Just enjoy this song by Westlife.

Us Against The World - WestLife



[Nicky:]
Us against the world
Against the world
Us against the world
Against the world

[Shane:]
You and I, we’ve been at it so long
I still got the strongest fire
You and I, we still know how to talk
Know how to walk that wire

[Mark:]
Sometimes I feel like The world is against me
The sound of your voice, baby
That's what saves me
When we're together I feel so invincible

[Shane:]
Cause it's us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Cause it's us against the world tonight

[Nicky:]
Us against the world
Against the world

[Mark:]
There’ll be days
We’ll be on different sides but
That doesn’t last too long
We find ways to get it on track
And know how to turn back on

[Shane:]
Sometimes I feel
I can’t keep it together
Then you hold me close
And you make it better
When I’m with you
I can feel so unbreakable

[Mark:]
Cause it's us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Cause it's us against the world tonight

We’re not gonna break
Cause we both still believe
We know what we’ve got
And we’ve got what we need alright
We’re doing something right...

[Shane & Mark:]
Cause it's us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Cause it's us against the world tonight

Us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Us against the world
Yeah it’s Us against the world, baby
Us against the world
Tonight

[Nicky:]
Us against the world
Against the world
Us against the world

Well done Ezann.

19. January. 2009 Notice: Blog will be locked starting 20. January. 2009. I've found out that some people in my school has been stalking others to keep myself save, I will lock my blog and make it private, please tell me if you want to continue reading my blog, will invite. (:

Regards,
Ezann

19. January. 2009 Well today is officially the last day of the holidays, school's starting tomorrow and I guess I can really officially kiss Ash good bye, he's no longer gonna be there to park his butt at the piano like he used to, he's no longer gonna be there to take away the awkwardness between people from time to time, he's gone from this school... For good, I just can't accept that fact. Time flew so fast I don't even have ironically time to cherish the times I spent with him. Well, tomorrow is the first day of school, tomorrow will be... some kinda of judgment day I guess... Bracing for the worse. Can't accept the changed yet....

Tomorrow will be day where...

I will no longer see Mdm. Ong everyday.
I will no longer have to climb up and down the stairs just to get to my home room.
I will no longer have to see certain people's faces.
I will no longer be in class 2x.
I will no longer have Ash parking his butt at the piano.
I will soon have to face 2009... GOD give me courage to face whatever challenges thrown at me.
I know one thing will never change... My love for him.

Well, 2oo9. Here I come. Leaving the past for the future.

"Friends are hard to find, good friends are even harder to find." - Unknown

I know GOD will bless me and Him with everlasting love.

18.January. 2009 I cant believe it, a year has come and gone. Hian Lee & I has been together for more than half a year, Ash is leaving, I'm starting Year 3 and well... More new friends to make. (: Well, looking forward to a great school year with Hian Lee and my academics of course! Looking forward to have a stronger bond with my friends and of course my one and only boyfriend. Time flies to quickly, I'm turning 15 in 2 months plus. ): another 15 years down the road I'll be 30! ): Maybe have a stable doctor job and probably married... but the future is uncertain and scary because of that... The future seemed to be crumbling because of my current personal issue, well I know GOD will always be there to work his magic no matter what. I'll really miss Ash... My closest friend and probably my personal "thearpist", hahaha! :P Well, it' heart breaking to know that he's leaving so I just I'll just stop here for now. GOD bless and well, smiles always. (:

Oh yeah! Ash, Hian lee & I all have the same toothbrush with the same colour! LOL. :D I was in the male toilet. :P

From that girl over there,
Ezann

Mum's fucking pissing me off again, she likes to squeeze 5 6 people in one fucking small HDB flat . She wants to be gracious offering my cousins to stay with me but like what the fuck, she lets them stay and now wants to fucking invade my privacy making me fucking pissed with her. I don't get it, if she likes to be a fucking gracious bitch just buy a bigger fucking house then let people stay, why make yourself so fucking unhappy because you want to be "gracious"? Mum's a tard.

17. January. 2009

P.S. Hian Lee, SMILE! (:

In school now posting with Hian lee's phone... Feel like the world is crumbling in front of me and I can't do anything to save it... Seems like I'm always the bad guy... Everyone seem to side her. Don't know who to trust, don't know who would love me for who I am, don't know who would be my friend for who I really am... my freedom to blog has been taken away from me... And so is my freedom to say the things I want... I want them BACK!

17. January. 2009

Posted with LifeCast

I just had my hair cut today, was walking home then suddenly this dude named Sky approached me and asked me if I'm interested in modeling... He's from this company called Imodels International. I just checked out the website and they look quite credible so I thought fine, maybe I'll just wait for the guy to call if he ever does, I'll just go train then model get the cash and buy my Iphone WAHAHAHAHA! xD Well Yes, just me dreaming...

Anyway I'm going to pack then go wash up leave for school. Whoooo. Love you guys! (:

16. January. 2009 Hello my faithful reader, are you wondering what I did today? Well, I rotted in school while watching the SC taught the new students some dance moves. Quite amusing, wahahahahaa! Talked to Ash for a while spent A LOT of time with Hian Lee today, satisfying. :D Well, no photos today... Prince Kwa was shy. ): Quite tired been talking a lot on the phone lately, haven't been sleeping well, cause of some issue in School, I'm not bothered to tell you what it is. I can feel my eye bags and see my panda eyes, I think I need to go see the M2M panda! Whahaha! Teehee. Well, that's about it for today. Today is draining because of my lack of sleep... Really need to catch proper sleep on sunday more than anything. Yawning every 5 minutes. Well done Ezann. Well Done..

I'm aruging with Hian Lee about me being Anti Social... Yes yes, I know for those of you who knew me since sec 1 you might think it's some kind of bad joke, but I USED to be VERY anti social. Teehee. I kicked the habit. :D But being around people can be quite "draining", everytime after some kind of social event I just like to be alone to help me "recharge". So, yes. I am Weird. :D

Hian Lee's watchin Mythbusters. As for me rotting. Talking to Caleb! Hahaha! I miss talking to the interactors!!!! xD

Well, I shall end here today, brain is shutting down.

15. January. 2009 Please Excuse the languages being used. This post is rated: PG.

What a wonderful way to start the new year. Orientation fucked up, Ash & I are pissed off and stuff's just like slowing starting to fuck themselves up for no apparent reason at all, wonderful isn't it? =-=

Well as for what I did today, met Ash, Orientation, Archery. It's official, Ash & I have really much a screwed up life with screwed up people trying to make our lives miserable. Wonderful, just wonderful. Whoever you are reading this whether you like it or not I'm going to go into one of my deep posts again so.... Yes, leave now if you're not a fan of my long and boring posts. :D

I was just wondering what makes people do the things they do, lie, cheat, hurt, back stab and stuff, and I sort of just came to two conclusions:

1) Make themselves look good, they do it because they want something from you they know they can never have and they have to take it away from you because they're sadistic.

2) They are Born a sadist. (:

I've had enough of back stabbings from people who calls themselves my "friends", they just stab you in the back because you have a conflict of interest... We human are despicable in every sense of the word. Well, I don't feel like going on anymore it just gets me more pissed off and that's bad for health so I shall stop here. God bless and good night ahead! (:



14. January. 2009 Ladies and Gents I would like to proudly announce that Ezann's restaurant of love is now OPEN. Make reservations in advancement for extra love! :D Hahaha! All are welcomed! Don't worry that's enough love to go around! :D

Okay I'm being super duper lame now. Hahaha!

Anyway, we went hiking today... Bad experience... Brr... I really cannot make it! ): Found out that Hian Lee was like OVERLY fit lah! D: Ezann is OVERLY unfit! ): Now Hian Lee's got some shin problem now. I shall be sadistic and laugh now. HAHAHAA! Oh God, retribution, now I'm having muscle cramps on my leg!!!! OH NO! ): Well I shall post some photos here now... Hehs. Overall I guess today was kinda fun. :D















That's all for today.

13. January. 2009 Just found out that Ash's not going to Orientation because of someone, still quite depressed over that issue. I'm afraid that I won't be able to control myself, Ash & Hian Lee are like my pillar of hope and strength. They're the ones who kept me going, who were always there for me, always lending me a shoulder to cry on and right now it feels like half of it is missing... Feels like something's been taken away from me... Ever since I fell out with this friend of mine, everything seemed to have changed. Life seemed to have changed, taking another route. A crazier one. Any one who's been back-stabbed time and again should know how I feel now, or maybe not, maybe I was the one who should be blamed for my own back-stabbings, if I had just... Ah I don't know. Maybe that's the way to go, keep telling myself that it has always been my fault, maybe that's how I can finally learn to forgive that person in that process, just maybe. Need to find a way out of this, I don't want to continue crying over a spilled milk. I just want to let go, just wanna get over with it. Just want to. Fear's been eating me up, I don't want to snap when I see her, I don't want to break down and cry. I DON'T WANT TO. I just want a NORMAL life, is it that difficult? I guess that's why you people keep coming back to read my blog, my life is just THAT dramatic, THAT interesting, THAT boring. That's what keeps you coming back isn't it? It's not the advice, the thinking into things but rather the drama and staleness of my life isn't it? Well. I'm not in the mood to go on anymore, so the next half of this post goes to Ash & Hian Lee.

Both were my gift from God, both are precious to me, both are now my necessity, only difference is I love them in different ways. One's my best pal and the other my true love, both are always there whenever needed, both are my shoulders to cry on, both are the people I trust and both are the people I cherish and treasure a lot. Both are the people I don't wish to lose more importantly they were there when I fell from grace, any one who knew me well knows what happened, from miss popular to miss loser all in one night, and these two well, were always there. So I guess God did hear my prayers every night, the prayers for a true friend and a faithful lover. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you, Kwa Hian Lee & Ash Randhay, two very special people in an ordinary girl's life.

12. January. 2009 If you're wondering what I did today, well... I went to preaching point to help out and then tennis, no Archery due to preaching point. I apologize for my aggressive post yesterday. Well anyway I'm over that... No deep thoughts or whatever. So yeah... No idea what I'm gonna do tomorrow since Ash is busy. Tuesday might do the 8 hour walk with Amber. Well... That's about it today. Really very bored, anyone wants to talk? ): Add me on msn! (:

My recent addiction:

Shut Up & Drive - Rihanna



I've been looking for a driver who is qualified
So if you think that you're the one step into my ride
I'm a fine-tuned supersonic speed machine
With a sunroof top and a gangster lead

So if you feel me let me know, know, know
Come on now what you waiting for, for, for
My engine's ready to explode, explode, explode
So start me up and watch me go, go, go,

Get you where you wanna go if you know what i mean
Got a ride that's smoother than a limousine
Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?
If you can baby boy then we can go all night

Goes from 0 to 60 in three point five
Baby you got the keys-

Now shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)

Shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)

I got class like a' 57 Cadillac
Got all the drive but a whole lot of boom in the back
You look like you can handle whats under my hood
You keep saying that you will boy I wish you would

So if you feel me let me know, know, know
Come on now what you waiting for, for, for
My engine's ready to explode, explode, explode
So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go

Get you where you wanna go if you know what i mean
Got a ride that's smoother than a limousine
Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?
If you can baby boy then we can go all night

Goes from 0 to 60 in three point five
Baby you got the keys-

Now shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)

Shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)

Cos you (indistinct) got what I got (Get it Get it)
Don't Stop It's a sure shot
Aint no Ferrari huh boy I'm sorry
I ain't even worried
So step inside and ride
(ride, ride, ride, ride, ride)

So if you feel me let me know, know, know
Come on now what you waiting for, for, for
My engine's ready to explode, explode, explode
So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go

Get you where you wanna go if you know what i mean
Got a ride that's smoother than a limousine
Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?
If you can baby boy then we can go all night

Goes from 0 to 60 in three point five
Baby you got the keys-

Now shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)

Shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)

Now shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)

Shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)

Photos from today:









Hearts. ♥

11. January. 2009 I went for archery today, this week would be one of my busiest week before school starts again. Well, my skills have greatly deteriorated... Singapore's number 5 is now probably Singapore's worse Archer... I doubt I'll want to take part in any competitions this year... Not with this kind of skills at least. I am so screwed... Sighs.

Moving On...

This is a true story. I've recently received an email on facebook:

"Ur friend's gf is steal from me one and I was his ex colleague."

I shall not name who sent me this and who was this person referring to, but when I first read that message the first thing that came to my mind was: "Why does this concern me?" I mean the guy he was talking about was a friend yes, but we hardly ever see each other anymore, so technically it really doesn't concern me. Then I wanted to ask this guy if he had ever thought about why his girlfriend left him for my friend? Why has his relationship failed? Why go on blaming someone else for something you have done wrong? Reason may vary but really, I expected something more matured from an adult. Why are people so low as to do such a thing I really don't understand. =-="

And then this afternoon I saw this comment on youtube, about how this person despised immigrants who comes here to work and is very convinced that they're polluting a glorious country like Singapore. Well whoever you are reading my blog and you have the same opinion of immigrants let me tell you this, I DESPISE PEOPLE LIKE YOU THE MOST. Ever thought about why those people left home to come here and work? Ever wondered how these people would feel? Ever wondered how the pavement YOU fucking WALK on EVERYDAY came to be? Hello! Wake up! Roads and pavement don't just appear, they have to be made and who makes them these immigrants, these people who left home to come here and WORK. Please, don't take these people for granted, without them there would be HDBs, Toilets, Roads, Pavements, everyday objects you take for granted. I admit I am guilty of taking such things for granted at times but what I despise the most is people who take things for granted but still dare to say that those people who worked their butts off for us are pollutants! What is this? We are all EQUAL, everyone in this world is equal, so don't treat people who do hard labor like shit cause without them there would be people like us, rich & ignorant.

I know this post will start controversies and such, but once again and I emphasize, THIS IS MY BLOG, DON'T LIKE IT? LEAVE.

This is purely a place for my rants and unhappiness, do ignore it if you don't like it.

Well, here's another Joe Hisaishi Piece so enjoy.

Summer - Joe Hisaishi




10. January. 2009 It's out half year today. We didn't go out today, not talking on msn either cause his mother wants him to turn off the computer so... You get my point. So I'm kinda lonely now... So here I am blogging again. What am I going to do without Hian Lee?

Well nothing to blog about today. I didn't do anything anyway, was supposed to go get my hair cut today but I thought well forget it... Archery tomorrow. Nothing much.

Well Here's our song.

Built to last - Melee



I've looked for love in stranger places,
but never found someone like you.
Someone whose smile makes me feel I've been holding back,
and now there's nothing I can't do.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

All of our friends saw from the start.
So why didn't we believe it too?
Whoa yeah, now look where we are.
You're in my heart now.
And there's no escaping it for you.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

Walking on the hills that night with those fireworks and candlelight
You and I were made to get love right

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

'Cause you are the sun in my universe,
considered the best when we've felt the worst
and most of all it's built to last.

Made a video for him about us. Gonna spend our first valentines soon. Well Have a good day. (:

9. January. 2009 Can you believe it? It's almost half a year since Hian Lee & I got together. Time seemed to fly pass so quickly, I could hardly believe it. Tomorrow's our half year mark! :D

That Aside, I went out with Him today cause he has violin lessons tomorrow so we celebrated our half year anniversary a day early. We watched Yes Man at Jurong point, God has that place changed! I got lost! Well that's about what I did today.

I know some of you come here to seek my so called advice on relationships but today, there's not going to be advice, but rather the other way round, I'm the one asking the question today, I'm the one seeking for an answer. I'm lost.

I'm lost, stucked between what I want and my principals, it's tough for me to try and forgive and forget someone who's hurt me so bad. Those ex-buddies of mine I've kinda moved on because of the crew but this other one, this other one that has added so much salt to those cuts & wounds that... it hurts even up till now. I don't know how to do this anymore. Her face, her voice even her name can bring back memories, I don't know why it's been so difficult for me this time round. I don't know why. I want to forgive & forget, but there's this other part of me that can't do it. I don't know, I'm lost, I need help... I need GOD. How am I to face her, to face myself? What is it that makes it so difficult? What do I need in order to let go? I don't know. The holidays seemed to have healed up most stuffs but... it's just me again. Me being afraid to lose that someone I love so much, me being paranoid, me just being me. I don't want to be lonely again, I'm afraid... Very afraid... Hian Lee, I need you so stay by me and hold me tight in your arms.

GOD, show me a way, make a path for me, bring me to the truth and see me through this hardship. I know you will help me, I know some how you're trying to teach me something but, I just don't know what. Like how I trusted Hian Lee with my fragile glass heart, I'll put my faith and trust in you. I know you will see me through this somehow, you've worked miracles for me so many times I forgot how many, I know you'll work something out for me this time as well...

I know I've posted this song months ago in one of my pervious post but this song seems to be the most relevent song for today.

God Will Make A Way - Don Moen



God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way

By a roadway in the wilderness
You lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today

It's just 30 minutes to our half year mark. I love you Hian Lee. (:

8. January. 2009 Hello my faithful readers.

Today was not that bad, Archery was as again a blast I had no idea how much I missed Angie & Gordon until I met them today... For the many of you who come for the I did nothings I'm sorry but I did do something today, as for the many more who came for my deep thinking then well, it's your lucky day, hahaha...

I've just been thinking, about myself, about how people perceive me to be. Some of you might think I'm different, more mature than the average 14 year old, some might think that I'm a total bitch for whatever the reason that I might have offended you, that I apologize, many might think that I'm cute as most of you might say, and maybe lots more might think I'm just average looking or even ugly. This is really, about myself, how I perceive myself, how I think about myself as honestly as possible...

I perceive myself to be a very aggressive person, once I bite I won't let go, but of course once I cool down it's really a different story. I am also a very self centered person, I like to think about myself, like to praise myself, hates to lose, always wanting perfection, thus the blog's name: "Perfection Is Everything." I also regard myself to be the so called opposition party, the more you think I can't do it the more I want to prove to you that I CAN do it, then rub my success in your face, I like to be the winner of everything my pride is my greatest weakness, if I claim 2nd no one else can claim first, though I am still quite open toward criticisms, I believe it can only make me a better person. Flaws aside I can be a very nice person. I'm honest, generous, gracious, soft-hearted, Animal loving, respectful (This only applies if you respect me as well), Understanding, always a listening ear, thoughtful, loving and I'm also a person who gives good relationship advice. xD Now don't get me wrong I'm no love guru, I'm just giving my thoughts on certain relationships.

Love is a mystical thing, just like GOD, always there but never visible. I believe I'm mention this before in one of my previous post, Up till now I still can't comprehend what love is. All I know is, love is about sacrifice, both must give in order to receive. Love can make you feel like you're in heaven but it can also hurt like hell. Learn to accept one's flaws is learning to love. I'm not just talking about romantic relationships, I'm also referring to friendship and family love...

I shall stop boring you out with my long annoying thoughts and leave you to go back to doing whatever you were doing before reading this. Enjoy this classical piece by once again Joe Hisashi.

It's love isn't it - Joe Hisashi



"Learning to love someone is learning to accept one's flaws, we love GOD it's simply because he's flawless, we find it hard to love man simply because we find it hard to accept another's flaws." - Unknown

Best Wishes,
Ezann

7. January. 2009

2 days more till our half year anniversary. (: I love you Hian Lee. Let's see what did do today... Nothing in the morning, met Ash in the evening. Hian Lee's results in 2 weeks he's probably freaking out by now and my subject combination will be out soon as well so I'm also freaking out. Well nothing to do tomorrow cept archery...

Questions Flooded my brain on my way home... Stuffs like what's gonna happen later on this year, will stuff be all peaceful? Will everything be smooth sailing from here? So many questions, not so much time...

For the so many of you who reads my blog, you're either here for the I did nothing today or the deep thinking into love and life... For the I did nothings well... I DID do something today so... Nothing for you. As for those who come for my wise advice... Well... not much either, it's rather a story of me & my beloved.

I've been thinking... Still trying to figure out why I love this stick man who's a head taller than me and kinda perverted half the time... How the hell did I, Ezann Kuek Zi Hui, fall in love with this guy... I still can't get my answer after so long. It's a feeling that attracts me to him, and it's that same feeling which made me so madly in love with him. I love everything about this guy and...probably never will get sick of him... I do know after so many experiences that being in a relationship isn't about the face, it isn't about how people look at you... It's about giving and receiving, it's about the chemistry two people share, it's about that mutual feeling both party have for each other, one must understand that being in a relationship isn't just about YOU anymore... It's about your other half as well. A relationship will never work if you're selfish, for as they say: "It takes 2 to tango." I'm still trying not to put myself at the center of everything, still trying to learn how to look out for others, especially the ones I love, Especially Hian Lee. No matter how sick and perverted this guy is, he's always a jewel in everyone's eye. The precious gem stone, the Gold Bar, the million dollar prize money, and to me... He's more than that, he's my everything because I've more or less given my entire heart to him... Those fragmented glass pieces glued back to become what it is today... Shattered time and again... He's helping me stick back the pieces of my broken glass heart and I just hope that he won't drop it... I've been through Thick & Thin with this guy... Everyone seemed to be against us of being together... He's Romeo & I'm Juliet... He's Prince Charming & I'm the poor maid working for a rich family. We were never meant to be. It's really... Us against the world. Perfect match says many, but will they work out asks more... Still hand in hand after almost 6 months, will always be for many years to come.

Many have once asked me, how the hell do you do it Ezann? How the hell did you go through all those shit and still say I love you? And I told them... Trust in GOD, Faith in Him & Well... Hope for the best. Even though sometimes the best never really came but I just kept telling myself, it'll work out somehow... For GOD would ALWAYS make a way... Just... Trust him to. Life's a roller coaster ride, there's always UPs & DOWNs. Just Trust in GOD & have faith in Him. I'm marveled that I survived all that shit with Hian Lee, I still don't know how I did it, but I just did. Love makes one do lots of crazy stuff and some would say only fools fall in love, and I guess I'm one of them.

For now, just enjoy this beautiful piece of Music by Joe Hisashi.

Howl's Moving Castle Theme - Joe Hisashi



Best of luck to all current relationships. Well wishes to singles.

"I've finally found someone I want to protect... And that someone is YOU." - Howls

With Love,
Ezann.

6. January. 2009 Well Here I am... Home at last. Sitting in my room again blogging about my boring life. I miss my big bed! :D So bored. Waiting for Prince Kwa to come back in the mean time I guess I'll just nap first... I want a doggggg!!! I want daddie's Afgan Hound! Sweet dog I tell you! :D Well nothing much to talk about anymore. Going out with Ash tomorrow. Hehs.

My Life Is Boring.

5. January. 2009 Here I am Bored again. ): I just finished talking to Hian Lee. That guy will never fail to make me laugh and smile. :D Well I can't say I didn't do anything today cause I went to several small towns for shopping mum refused to buy me my mini skirt. ): Well I guess I'll just go shop of it on my own. xD

I was born to love you - Queen



I was born to love you
With every single beat of my heart
Yes, I was born to take care of you
Every single day...

Alright! Hey hey!

I was born to love you
With every single beat of my heart
Yes, I was born to take care of you
Every single day of my life

You are the one for me
I am the man for you
You were made for me
you're my ecstasy
If I was given every opportunity
I'd kill for your love

So take a chance with me
Let me romance with you
I'm caught in a dream
And my dream's come true
It's so hard to believe
This is happening to me
An amazing feelin'
Comin' through

I was born to love you
With every single beat of my heart
Yes, I was born to take care of you
Every single day of my life

I wanna love you
I love every little thing about you
I wanna love you, love you, love you
Born - to love you
Born - to love you
Yes I was born to love you
Born - to love you
Born - to love you
Every single day - of my life

An amazing feelin'
Comin' through

I was born to love you
With every single beat of my heart
Yes, I was born to take care of you
Every single day of my life

Yes I was born to love you
Every single day of my life

Go, I love you babe
Yes, I was born to love you
I wanna love you , love you, love you
I wanna love you
Hahahaha...it's magic! (what's?)
Hahaha!
I get so lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely
Yeah, I want to love you
Yeah, give it to me...haha







hahahaha! Ah, I miss my Hian Lee. I love him too. ): Hian Lee Baka! ): Going Home Tomorrow.

4. January. 2009 I went shopping but didn't buy anything. ): Didn't do anything much today. Seeing dad tomorrow. :D Going to the museum tomorrow. Weeeee.. Sighs.

Photoooooosssssss:







Weee... No more. go back to talk to hian lee now. :D

3. January. 2009 Went shopping today. I have nothing to Blog about today... Sighs bored. I'm on MSN with Hian Lee Now. I missed him a lot! :D Hian LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... Going shopping again tmrw. Blog again tmrw I guess...

Some Photos...









Bleh. Bye.

2. January. 2009 Heys I'm in Tokyo now. Happy New Year People! (: I went to Disney Land today with cousins, saw Hian Lee for 10 Seconds and got my New Year's Kiss. Kinda disappointed... Sighs. I miss my Hian Lee. Took photos with some Disney Characters. I'm going shopping tomorrow, buying New Boots. Boots were my first love. xP They were my first Fashion Statement. xP I don't know what to say anymore. I miss my Hian Lee. Hian Lee. Hian Lee. Hian Lee! Gahh..

My New Addiction.

First Love - Utada Hikaru



最後のキスはタバコの flavor がした
ニガくてせつない香り

明日の今頃には あなたはどこにいるんだろう
誰を思ってるんだろう

You are always gonna be my love
いつか誰かとまた恋に落ちても
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
今はまだ悲しい love song
新しい歌 歌えるまで

立ち止まる時間が動き出そうとしてる
忘れたくないことばかり wou

明日の今頃には わたしはきっと泣いている
あなたを思ってるんだろう yeah yeah yeah

You will always be inside my heart
いつもあなただけの場所があるから
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
今はまだ悲しい love song
新しい歌 うたえるまで

You are always gonna be my love
いつか誰かとまた恋に落ちても
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
まだ悲しい love song

Now and forever...

Some Pictures From Tokyo so far:







No Photos With Hian Lee though. ): Sighs I miss you. Be Safe. Love You Too.

1. January. 2009

Broken
Amber
Hian Lee
Douglas
Vincent
Ervin
Kohar
Caleb
Jonathan
Shawn
Valerie
Phyllis
Timothi
Samantha Koh
Julin
Mei Chen
Lincoln
Kenneth
Jun Xian
Yung Seng
Rachel Chan
Donny
Yong Jie
Jasmine
TeeKay
Wendy :D
Things We Forget.
If you can get in (:
Our Private Blog (:

Layout: Nicole
Inspiration: InDreamsMaybe
Icons: Chasethedrug; CollapsingNight; Photobucket
Color Codes: Html Color Codes


August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
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January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
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May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
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September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010


You tried.
Adopt an Introverted Kitten
Another Year is About to End.
Driving me crazy.
Love is no longer sacred
Cat Bank.
A penny and A Second
In Memory
Showing off! Hahaha.
Trying to Chase the Love that was never real.