Thursday, January 8, 2009 @ 10:41 PM
a day before our half year mark
Can you believe it? It's almost half a year since Hian Lee & I got together. Time seemed to fly pass so quickly, I could hardly believe it. Tomorrow's our half year mark! :DThat Aside, I went out with Him today cause he has violin lessons tomorrow so we celebrated our half year anniversary a day early. We watched Yes Man at Jurong point, God has that place changed! I got lost! Well that's about what I did today.
I know some of you come here to seek my so called advice on relationships but today, there's not going to be advice, but rather the other way round, I'm the one asking the question today, I'm the one seeking for an answer. I'm lost.
I'm lost, stucked between what I want and my principals, it's tough for me to try and forgive and forget someone who's hurt me so bad. Those ex-buddies of mine I've kinda moved on because of the crew but this other one, this other one that has added so much salt to those cuts & wounds that... it hurts even up till now. I don't know how to do this anymore. Her face, her voice even her name can bring back memories, I don't know why it's been so difficult for me this time round. I don't know why. I want to forgive & forget, but there's this other part of me that can't do it. I don't know, I'm lost, I need help... I need GOD. How am I to face her, to face myself? What is it that makes it so difficult? What do I need in order to let go? I don't know. The holidays seemed to have healed up most stuffs but... it's just me again. Me being afraid to lose that someone I love so much, me being paranoid, me just being me. I don't want to be lonely again, I'm afraid... Very afraid... Hian Lee, I need you so stay by me and hold me tight in your arms.
GOD, show me a way, make a path for me, bring me to the truth and see me through this hardship. I know you will help me, I know some how you're trying to teach me something but, I just don't know what. Like how I trusted Hian Lee with my fragile glass heart, I'll put my faith and trust in you. I know you will see me through this somehow, you've worked miracles for me so many times I forgot how many, I know you'll work something out for me this time as well...
I know I've posted this song months ago in one of my pervious post but this song seems to be the most relevent song for today.
God Will Make A Way - Don Moen
God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way
By a roadway in the wilderness
You lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today
It's just 30 minutes to our half year mark. I love you Hian Lee. (:
8. January. 2009
