Monday, August 3, 2009 @ 10:11 PM
Sleepless Nights.
Hello!I don't know what to say right now, all I know is I need to keep happy. Cause if I'm happy, that would affect Hian Lee and keep him happy.
This song used to remind me of a lot of unhappy thoughts simply because of the lyrics. But now, now it just reminds me to keep happy, for Hian Lee's sake. This is one point in time where I finally realize that life isn't just all about me. I just recently realize that I've been selfish for the past 12 months. I've only thought about how things I do would benefit MY relationship with Hian lee, I've never thought about the rest. And I keep asking myself and other people, what must I do to keep Hian Lee happy? I even asked God for help, but I've never realize that I had the answer with me all these while... God sent an angel to help me see that, God has a really funny way of teaching people things, and He doesn't really stop until you learn what you're supposed to. He will keep trying and trying and trying using everything in his power to teach you that lesson. He knows what's good for you, He knows what you really need. And he'll never take away what you really need. I have thought about it this way, maybe I am a present to Hian Lee, to take away all those pain he's been suffering at home and in school, and in return he's my source of comfort and love. I guess, God knew that we both lacked love from the family. I guess that's why we ended up together, we both understood how it feels like to be left alone... We both understood how it feels like to sit in your room alone and crying. I am an only child and his sister, is in New York so he's kinda like an only child at home right now. We both know how it feels like when Mum takes out her anger on you, and how it feels like when Dad doesn't care or is too afraid to do anything. I suppose at the end of the day, we are essintially the same when it comes to getting attention back home. When Hian lee says: "I know how you feel Ezann", he really does know how I feel. God's been such a dear, He's been so much more than I can ever imagine him to be, He brought me back to life, back to square one and probably happier.
Right now, all I know is that I gotta keep smiling. I gotta do it for Hian Lee, cause he needs this smile more than me. I love you Hian Lee. (:
Right here is the song I've been talking about.
Sleepless Nights - Faber Drive
Another sleepless night
I'm still starin' at the ceiling
I can hear him fighting
With her for no good reason
Will this ever end?
Will this house be a home again?
If I had my way
I'd corner him and say
Put yourself in her position
All she needs is recognition
Love's not enough when you say it
Don't you know you've gotta mean it
Screwing up the best thing ever
Is something you'll regret forever
Another day goes by and nothing changed
He's still the same
I can hear her cryin
Thinking she's the one to blame
Will this ever end?
Will this house be a home again?
If I had my way
I'd corner him and say
Put yourself in her position
All she needs is recognition
Loves not enough when you say it
Don't you know you gotta mean it?
Screwing up the best thing ever
Is something you'll regret forever
Take her and make sure she feels it
Let her know you'll never let her go
Screwing up the best thing ever
Is something you'll regret forever
Another sleepless night and nothing changed
He's still the same
Another stupid fight and someone's gotta say
Put yourself in her position
All she needs is recognition
Loves not enough when you say it
Don't you know you gotta mean it?
Screwing up the best thing ever
Is something you'll regret forever
Take her and make sure she feels it
Let her know you'll never let her go
Never let her go
No, no, no
Put yourself in her position
All she needs is recognition
Take her and make sure she feels it
Let her know you'll never let her go
The Girl Sitting by those yellow bedsheets,
Ezann.
3. August. 2009
(P.S. 6 more days to our 1st year! :D )
