Saturday, August 22, 2009 @ 11:08 PM
God's telling me.
Hello.I thought I might as well do this before I sleep...
It's like God's telling me over and over again, that I cannot be the weak one in this relationship, I cannot be the one who cries and feel like committing suicide, cause He seem to be telling me, Hian lee needs you more than you need him. With my own sense, I seem to need to pull myself through and somehow pull Hianlee through this as well. I suppose what we're looking forward to is 2012, 2013 when we board that plane to London... Off to a place of escape and be who we wanna be there, Me probably an Art Director and HianLee probably an Engineer, somehow we're both looking forward to it for various reasons, but I suppose somehow it all boils down to an escape from hell. We both want an escape from all our problems and somehow we both look to London as that escape.
But it somehow seems that right now God just wants me to be the strong one in this relationship, to somehow take on the guy role of the whole relationship, I suppose one day or another I will have to accept that fate. I will love HianLee forever, I will somehow brew on how to live another day learning to be strong, and I somehow figured out that HianLee's one person God's telling me to never let go cause every time I think of letting go I can't bear myself to do it. Somehow, someway God's telling me that HianLee's the person I made for you, and you're the person I made for him. Somehow, someway I will pull the both of your through, but with minimal help. You guys have to be there for each other and especially you to him, Ezann. You guys will have to jump pass all the obstacles I have set for you and be there for each other. I know sometimes it's though to work with and help HianLee, but this is my task for you and somehow you've gotta finish it Ezann. And I know sometimes Ezann asks for or sticks to you too much and too often, but somehow and someway you have got to live with it Hian Lee.
All in all, I know that I love him, I know somehow I have to help him break free from his misery... Somehow that's my life's task. For as they say, saving one life is equivalent to saving a thousand lives.
HianLee, Keep going. Keep going until you can't, until you have to fall on to me and say: "Enough, you take over." Keep going until then, I will always be here dressed in a gym top and a mini skirt with a pom pom cheering for you... I am your girl and will always be your girl. I love you. Remember: HianLee + Ezann = Forever & Always.
The Girl sitting on Lord Jesus's laps,
Ezann.
22. August. 2009
